The metrics we use to measure success are broken.
I've watched countless high-achievers reach their goals only to ask, "Is this it?" They followed the conventional playbook: prestigious degrees, six-figure salaries, impressive titles. Yet something fundamental was missing.
We've been measuring the wrong things.
The Success Trap
Our culture has sold us a definition of success that's increasingly out of alignment with what actually creates fulfillment. The evidence is everywhere.
According to a 2013 LifeTwist study, only around one-quarter of Americans still believe that wealth determines success, indicating a significant shift in how people define achievement. We're collectively waking up to what the research has been telling us for decades: external achievements alone don't create lasting satisfaction.
The problem isn't ambition. The problem is how we channel it.
When we chase metrics disconnected from meaning, we build lives that look impressive from the outside but feel hollow from within. We optimize for validation rather than fulfillment.
But there's a better way.
Growth Over Goals
What if success isn't a destination but a process?
The most fulfilled people I know have shifted from a fixed mindset about success to a growth mindset. They've stopped seeing success as a scoreboard and started seeing it as a laboratory.
This shift is powerful. Studies have shown that a short, online growth mindset intervention—which teaches that intellectual abilities can be developed—improved grades among lower-achieving students and increased overall enrollment to advanced mathematics courses.
The same principle applies beyond academics. When we embrace a growth mindset in how we define success, we unlock new possibilities.
Instead of asking "Am I successful yet?" we ask "Am I growing in the ways that matter most?"
The Three Dimensions of Meaningful Success
Through years of research and personal experience, I've identified three dimensions that create lasting fulfillment when integrated into our definition of success:
1. Purpose Alignment
Success without purpose is like a ship without a destination. It moves, but goes nowhere meaningful.
Purpose isn't just about having a mission statement. It's about aligning your daily actions with what genuinely matters to you. This alignment creates a sense of congruence that no external achievement can match.
The data backs this up: 70% of employees say their personal sense of purpose is defined by their work, and when that work feels meaningful, they perform better. Purpose drives performance, not the other way around.
Ask yourself: "If all external rewards were removed, would I still find meaning in what I'm doing?"
2. Wellbeing Integration
Success at the cost of wellbeing isn't success—it's sacrifice.
True success integrates physical health, mental clarity, emotional resilience, and relational depth. These aren't luxuries to be enjoyed after achieving success; they're the foundation that makes meaningful achievement possible.
When we sacrifice wellbeing for achievement, we create a success tax that eventually comes due—often with interest.
3. Impact Amplification
The most fulfilling success creates ripples beyond ourselves.
This doesn't mean everyone needs to start a nonprofit or solve global problems. It means connecting your work to how it serves others—whether that's your family, your community, your customers, or humanity at large.
Impact amplification shifts the question from "What can I get?" to "What can I give?" This shift transforms success from a zero-sum game to an abundant cycle of creation.
Creating Your Success Framework
Here's how to build your own success metrics that won't leave you empty:
Step 1: Clarity Mining
Start by identifying what genuinely matters to you—not what you've been told should matter.
Write down your answers to these questions:
- When have I felt most alive and fulfilled?
- What would I do if I had all the money I needed?
- What contribution do I want to make with my life?
- What qualities do I want to embody daily?
Look for patterns in your answers. These are clues to your authentic success metrics.
Step 2: Metric Design
For each dimension (purpose, wellbeing, impact), create 1-2 measurable indicators that reflect meaningful progress.
The key is choosing metrics that measure what matters, not just what's easy to measure. For example:
- Purpose: Weekly hours spent in flow state
- Wellbeing: Quality sleep score + weekly deep conversations
- Impact: Monthly lives positively influenced
Step 3: System Building
Success isn't achieved through willpower. It's achieved through systems.
Create simple systems to track and improve your new success metrics. This might include:
- A weekly review of your metrics
- Environmental design that supports your priorities
- Accountability partnerships
The goal isn't perfection—it's progress and awareness.
The Courage to Redefine
Redefining success requires courage. It means potentially stepping away from paths that others validate to pursue what genuinely matters to you.
This isn't about lowering your ambitions. It's about aligning them with what creates true fulfillment.
The most successful people I know aren't those with the most impressive resumes. They're those who've had the courage to define success on their own terms and build lives that reflect their deepest values.
They've stopped holding themselves to metrics that don't matter and started creating ones that do.
You can do the same.
Start today by questioning one conventional success metric you've been pursuing. Ask yourself if it genuinely contributes to your fulfillment. If not, what would be a more meaningful measure?
The metrics we use determine the lives we create. Choose wisely.